Black Girls Only

My contribution to Ebony.com for their November Men's issue is an ode to my wife, my mother, my sister and good girl friends. 

"I absolutely unequivocally adore my Black wife. She's a Trinidadian woman who has introduced me to black peoples and culture throughout the diaspora. We find pockets of commonality and tension in the ancestry we share that has been split abstracted and layered with indigenous people and Africa. She helps me navigate the micro-aggressions I have to deal with on a daily basis with care and patience. I don't have to censor my language or my frustrations because that's my G, for real.  It’s the way she can rock a bone straight sew-in, dookie braids, or her natural curls like a boss. It's her smooth toffee skin and the familiar cackle and cadence in her laugh that I've heard my whole life from the women that raised me; my mother, aunties and sisters. She's the most beautiful and the most amazing woman I know."

Read more at EBONY http://www.ebony.com/news-views/black-girls-only-503#ixzz3K2QPCOrk 
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2014 Audre Lourde Founders Award

 I was awarded the Audre Lorde Founders award from The Hispanic Black Gay Coalition, an organization based in Boston that services lgbt people of color in the New England area. In the last five years HBGC has been able to reach hundreds of New Englanders who are often ignored and overlooked. Interesecting identity and the nuanced issues that it raises are at the forefront of their work. They create programming and access to resources that are tailored to these specific needs and it was an honor to be recognized by them. 

Corey Yarbrough and Quincey Roberts, the founders of HBGC, are  two of the kinds and hard working guys I've had the pleasure of working with. They're dedicated to the lgbt community of Boston and work tireless to give a a booming voice for lgbt people of color. 

Do and Don'ts When Talking to Your Trans Friends

 

I had the opportunity to be interviewed by MTV about a little trans 101 and etiquette. I like how they are making these very nuanced and somewhat complex ideas palpable to younger folks. It's so important that our youth learn early on how to interact, respect and love other people of various gender identities.


Let’s talk about being transgender.

Sometimes, even when you’re among the closest of your friends, there are topics that are hard to broach. You support your pals 100 percent, but you don’t want to say the wrong thing, offend anyone or hurt any feelings.

But just because you may feel uncomfortable, or don’t know how to broach the topic doesn’t mean you should avoid talking to your friend. In the spirit of Spirit Day and ahead of MTV and Logo’s “Laverne Cox Presents: The T Word,” MTV has gathered helpful tips that might help you know what’s OK and what’s not when it comes to talking to your transgender friends about their identity. GLAAD’s Tiq Milan, a trans man, offered up his advice.

Room for Debate: The Necessity of Checking the Sex Box

Here is my latest opinion piece in the New York Times about gender markers being an unnecessary identification on goverment documents. There were some strong opinions about this on both ends and I welcome the lively debate. However, gender as an assigment birth and not an immutable truth is real for so many people. We have to continue to make room for the gender spectrum. 

 

 

Out for Undergrad Business Conference

 

"I wanted to express my gratitude for coming to OUBC and, for lack of a better term, dropping knowledge. I never thought that I’d hear someone reference the prison industrial complex in a room full of employees from Goldman Sachs, but it was only one of the many much needed sentiments you expressed on the panel. A critical perspective like yours was refreshing and served as an empowering reminder that my future may not necessarily involve sacrificing my values or empathy." ~Lawrence "Macs" Vinson Northwestern University 2017. 

 

This past weekend I had the opportunity to speak on the Gender Diversity panel at the the Out for Undergrad Business conference. Admittedly, I was a bit skeptical about the reception we would receive in a room of future bankers, economists, and brokers. Although, they were all LGB identified that doesn't mean their views about gender and being allies to trans folks are automatically progressive. A large part of the conversations I have are about building bridges within the LGBT community. However, these young people were ready and eager to be better people and better allies. I'm so grateful to have been able to be there and have an impact. 

There’s One Movement, for Gay and Trans People

The idea that transgender inclusion takes focus away from gays and lesbians is dated, divisive and counterproductive. Today's conversation is about movement toward respect, recognition and equality for all L.G.B.T. people. As with any paradigm shift, there are those that are resistant or afraid of change. But over the last two decades, the culture has been slowly moving toward more openness and awareness of gender and sexuality as a spectrum and not merely a binary “either or.”

Read more on nytimes.com

Connect Boston Summit

The Connect Boston Summit was a great success this year. I had the opportunity to speak on the panel, Surviving & Thriving: A Conversation about Black and Latino Gay, Bisexual, Trans* and Queer Men. The more conversations I'm in about the lgbt communities of color, the more nuanced and layered the conversations become. We're giving a lot of examination to intersectionality and systemic oppression. These communities are becoming more and more aware of the fact that the matrix in which we do our advocacy work, whether advocating for the community or for yourselves is the biggest obstacles. People are starting to look outside of the pathology imposed on the interesecting idenitities that they represent. We're beginning to see that it's not empowerment programs we need; we need a completely paradigm shift in the culture.

 

We discussed internalized racism and homophobia in the medical system and how it manifests into apathetic and treatment that lacks cultural competency and compassion. We were able to examine how living in oppressive systems affects self esteem and ones relationship to themselves. These conversations are fresh and new and nuanced is exactly what we need to affect long term sustainable change. 

 

 

#freemarichuy Immigration and Trans folks


Tiq Milan MSNBC

With clashes at the Texas/Mexican border becoming increasing more violatile, the needs of trans folks falls through the cracks,  often times delibrately. Marichuy Gamino, a 23 year old trans woman who has lived in Arizone since she was a child has been detained for over a year because she is undocumente. While in uthe dentetion center she told the guards repeatedly that she was being harassed. They ignored her and then she was raped. This heartbreaking story is far too common. Many transgender women with intersected identities are wholey ignored and abused by the systems put in place to protect them. 

Madd Mary Hates Iggy Azalia. Totally Understandable.

 

"Madd Mary's scathing takedown is pretty aggressive — its been dubbed a "lyrical murder" — but it rightfully tears down the larger issue of cultural misappropriation at play in the rise of Azalea. White artists have taken from black culture for decades — from Elvis Presley to the Rolling Stones to everyone's favorite train wreckMiley Cyrus. This process of draping a white performer in tropes of blackness and serving it as something profound is as old as structural racism itself. And the most recent example of Iggy Azalea's skin privilege was the face-palm worthy article in Forbes (originally titled "Hip-Hop is Run by a White, Blonde, Australian Woman") that declared her the leader of all things hip-hop despite having only sold 52,000 albums her first week out. (Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday sold 375,000 the first week.)"


 

 

My latest article on the cultural misappropiation  by Aussie performer Iggy Azalia. My original unedited version of this article was a toned down and whitewashed in order to appeal better to their readership.  After a bit of a back and forth with the editors, I reluctantly allowed this article to run even though they didn't do all the revisions I requested and dumbdowned my language and critcism. Probably my last contribution to policymic. 

My chat with Steven Petrow of the Washington Post about "transgender etiquette."

 

"This week GLAAD’s Tiq Milan joined me for the hour to talk about “transgender etiquette.” He responded to an overflowing mailbox, with questions about what pronoun and name to use for a trans person; what not to ask a trans person; why the sudden visibility of trans people in the news, and much more. In addition to his work withGLAAD, Tiq is a contributing author to the upcoming anthology Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, and is the Co-Chair for the LGBT taskforce of the National Association of Black Journalists. He started his transition 7 years ago. Below is an adaptation of the online chat. I asked the first several questions and then we took reader queries. To read the full transcript, please click here.