"For me, fatherhood is an intentional rite of passage that has already begun, even though we’re just at the end of the first trimester. My wife and I had been trying very hard to have a child over this last year. We wanted to bring our child into the world in a way that was safest and healthiest for us, which meant circumventing medical clinics and fertility treatments. We had a few confidential conversations with other queer and trans families who’d also chosen a similar route, but we negotiated the support of a donor and the conception of our child on our own. I already feel the weight of responsibility for our growing family as we begin rearranging our lives and putting in place a support network to ensure this kid’s arrival is happy and healthy.
"Unlike cis-hetero couples, our path to parenthood is never a pleasant surprise or the result of a reckless passionate night. Ours is a strategic endeavor with lots of moving parts, cautionary tales, and money spent. I am already so invested in the life of this child! ... Our children will always know and respect that gender and sexuality are a spectrum of possibilities. They’ll be loved and supported no matter where on the spectrum they may fall. Planning our family and thinking about our future has been the best time of our lives, and we can’t wait to have little ones to share it with." — Tiq Milan, New York City